There was a bong, booze, loud music and lots of people I don’t know.
In short it was a party. It was at Nishan’s, he’s leaving soon. It was fun watching them. Dhaka can be fun too, if you’re not gagged by rules.
I didn’t enjoy myself much. Felt very awkward around so many unknown people. I really wish I did better. I blame the attire. I should have been wearing a fotua. my outfit always influences how i feel.
Tried to take a puff from that bamboo bong Nina brought from Rangamati. Took a puff from Ishraq’s joint. And tried to look involved. Samia was doing better. we left together.
Saturday I go and meet Anindya. God knows how that’ll go. I really wish it works out. This was I don’t have to marry some douche. Although I don’t know…I’m most definitely not the person I was even a year ago. My brain is constantly asleep and it doesn’t like waking up for conversations. So I might not seem like a catch.
The other day, we had a small CS meet at alliance, me, Till, Jonathon, Yoshi, Jimi dropped by with Fouad. That day I had fun.
July 26:
Yesterday I met Till at alliance…he’s been a good friend for a few days, very easy to talk to. I had also invited Mejzabeen apu, so she came and let us use the piano. Till played for a while. I am sure if i’d ever heard live playing. I played a little too! Samia showed up, so did a french CSer, elodie. We talked, tasted some mishti at rosh and took a bus home. Today I took Till to shakharibazar, armanitola (finally i saw the church! they let us in without any question. There was a hindu college student who’s father’s the caretaker. It was dark and old, not too grand, but still! and there were gravestones planted on the floor. baby girl who lived for 12 days in 1917. there was also one with a statuette with one arm!) Then we half walked to sadarghat, rode a boat (was nice, but hot), got very tired and hungry and parted ways near dhaka medical. later he sent a nice SMS saying i;ve got a good heart! that’s what i was going for.So I spent some nice evenings, it’s not as easy to talk to everyone.
And, the day before that I met anindya at goethe, later we moved to mango. I was moreo r less comfortable.we talked for several hours, he walked me up to farmgate. it was nice. he is the same petit guy, with a nice smile, i don’t really think we’re each other’s type. I couldn’t help thinking he ranked rather high on Shovon-scale (how much one guy reminds me of shovan). when I came home, i was feeling good. then I started remembering the conversations on drugs and drinks and the spanish girlfriend and couldn’t help thinking how bad it’ll be to raise kids with with a guy like him…or tag along with him on his conquests of world’s regions. then of course i realised our situations have reversed and he is the one pushing me off this time with extreme stories. he’s now looking to fall in love. so that’s how it ends. I called Jimi while I was in the middle of thinking all these, didn’t feel one bit good either. I just wanted to hold on to the phone quietly as I think, but he almost hung up on me. that made me very sad. haven’t talked to him since. Till said he’s out of Dhaka. I don’t know anything about it.
Anyway I’m very very glad I met my ghost from two years ago. One think less to regret about. also, made me realise that I’m not the person I want myself to be. I want stability, even though I dream of whimsical hitch hiking trips in mountain countries. This reminded me of Bhutan too. Except for the day in Paro, I really didn’t enjoy Bhutan. I was inside these photos that I sighed after, but didn’t know what to do with it.
The next two days i’ve been feeling quite good. head not so sleepy or numb. got the GRE book out. Talked to people. Watched a movie (princess bride, sorta boring). all good. I should really stop getting hooked onto TV serials.
About serials: Castle was OK,trite. psych had been more refreshing , tho less convoluted, than this. Bored to death was pretty darn good.
Sazid made me read a half-page story of Neil Gayman, so I’m going through his short-stories : What an improvement! Even though before that I did finish Mihir Shengupto’s Bishad Brikkho. In turn, I made him read from Shahaduzzaman, now he’s finishing up the book.
